We all half-love, half-dread this time of year – the sun’s out, the evenings are long and ideal for spending in beer gardens, and even getting up at 6.30am doesn’t seem so bad when it’s not pitch black.
But as the good weather rolls around, so too does one of the most bizarre business conventions; second only to the Office Christmas Party, it’s the Office Barbeque.
Image by: Kelly Blue
Now if you’re lucky, you’ll simply have to give up a Sunday afternoon to awkwardly eat an undercooked sausage in a stale bun (while trying to look interested in the CEO’s stories about his yacht as you figure out where your Christmas bonus went).
If you’re unlucky, the afternoon could incorporate a wild variety of “team building activities”, that you’re not only expected to participate in, but expected to enjoy!
But before you ring your boss with the old “I’m so sorry I can’t make it, I’ve got food poisoning” excuse, and get the will-someone-tag-me-on-Facebook-not-being-ill nervous sweats, read on.
I have compiled, just for you, a compilation of five gadgets to get you through this trying time. I can’t promise that they’ll make the day enjoyable, but they will help you survive.
1. Harry Potter Replica Invisibility Cloak
Yes, it does exist! As a replica it might not make you completely invisible, but it will certainly facilitate discussion with other Harry Potter fans, which is certainly preferable to making uncomfortable conversation with your boss when he brings up his ex-wife.
2. Freeloader Pro Solar Charger
Better keep that phone battery topped up, because let’s face it, if you haven’t got Angry Birds to retreat to in times of exceptional awkwardness, what are you going to do?
3. Immortal Video Glasses
Increase your office standing, and leverage on all senior staff, with these clever glasses that capture everything you see in high quality video. The Director of the company walks into a glass door with a plate of food? A short journey down the IP transit highway, and say hello to YouTube!
4. Headphone Hat
OK, you might look a bit odd wearing a woolly hat on a summer’s day, but if it means you don’t have to listen to that Gollum-like guy from HR (you know the one I mean) leer over every female co-worker in a sundress, it’s surely worth it.
5. Redcups Beer Pong Kit
Going along to work dos sober is one of the most commonly made mistakes. Of course, as far as your boss knows it’s a “team building activity” with “fizzy apple juice”.
Now, I have given you the tools, all you need to do is follow the guidelines – always check behind you before you say anything that even vaguely makes it seem that you don’t adore your workplace, don’t get drunk until the CEO, director and your line manager leave, and try not to throw up that undercooked sausage on the shoes of anyone important.
Good luck.
You’ll going to need it!
What gadgets will you be taking along to your Office Barbeque?
James Duval is an IT specialist a minor to sever Xbox addiction, wanderlust and passion for business skills. He has a wicked sense of humour which he tries to put to good use when blogging. Currently, he writes for ConNetU.